i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
