We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
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