I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
