Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
