I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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