can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize