He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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