He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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