sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
