and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
