South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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