We're facebook friends in real life
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
