Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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