thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
