and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
