i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
