My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
