You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
