I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
