actually, I'm a sock model
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
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