Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
