real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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