He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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