He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
