All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
