She's JV to your varsity
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
