i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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