Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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