And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
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I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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