My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
