I wanna passion pit in your ass
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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