I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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