once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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