Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
