Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
