i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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