And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
