she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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