yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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