My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
