There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
