is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
