Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I would ride that face into the sunset
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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