.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
