can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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