im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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