i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
