Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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