had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
