if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize