Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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