Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
