i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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