They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I got inside last night via doggy door
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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