In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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