lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Randomize
