aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
being pregnant is like rehab
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
