I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
