She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
