dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
