32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
