dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
