I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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