Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize